Honest and Crude
by astarte-lydianna
Summary: Response to the Drunken Giles Ficathon challenge prompt no. 2 - After her mother's funeral Buffy show's up at Giles' with alcohol. A bit of drunken honesty ensues. B/G Rating either T or M but I put M to be safe
1. Chapter 1

Author's Notes: This is another repost, moving from old account to this one.

Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy, nor the characters or anything else recognisable and make no money from this.

Honest and Crude

The watcher found his thoughts interrupted by the banging of his door closing. When he heard no voice calling him he lifted the nearest weapon that he could reach, a short sword next to his bedside table, and made his way to the stairs.

"Buffy...what are you doing here?" He asked lowering his sword and relaxing his stance.

"God Giles you even leave your door unlocked when you're asleep?" She asked looking back at the door. "Unless you were still up? I was kinda hoping you'd still be up..."

"I was still awake if that's what you mean, I was reading in bed." He told her. "Now that I have answered your questions about my actions inside my home are you going to tell me...Buffy have you been drinking?" He asked suddenly spotting the bottle in her hand. She took in his lack of clothing and nervously met his gaze. He wore his robe but she couldn't see a shirt underneath it and guessed perhaps he only had his underwear beneath it, after all he had said he was in bed.

"No, not yet. I thought last time I decided to have more than just one drink it was badness so maybe if I came here...we could have drinks together and you won't let me go crazy cave Buffy." She explained. He didn't ask why she wanted to drink, it was fairly obvious. Now that the funeral was out of the way and the other paperwork issues and things had been dealt with, Buffy now faced the hardest part - getting on with the rest of her life, without her mother.

"Let me just go change." He told her before moving to the stairs.

"Giles it's just me, you don't need to go dress up or anything." She protested, he was already halfway up the stairs though.

Giles tugged off his robe and quickly found a t-shirt and sweatpants to wear instead. She may not require him to be dressed up but something more than a robe and a pair of boxers was probably wise.

He returned to find her carrying two glasses through from the kitchen and placing them on the coffee table.

"Who's with Dawn?" he asked as he took a seat on the couch.

"Xander and Anya." she replied. "Dawn loves Xander and he seems to be the only one that can make her act sort of normal at the moment so..."

"It's his gift." Giles nodded. "He sees far more than people give him credit for and he's the heart of our group. I'm really very proud of him, all of you really but he's...grown over the years."

"He's like a son to you." Buffy realised her eyes widening. She downed her drink. "I always thought..."

"You aren't a daughter to me Buffy, I care about you of course but I've never truly seen you like a daughter the way that Xander is like a son." he told her squeezing her hand before downing his drink also. "I will of course be here to help you Buffy, you don't have to do this alone."

"It's a lot to take in...that she isn't here to help me..." Buffy whispered.

They didn't talk much for a while, both concentrating on their drinks until Giles stood up abruptly.

"This won't do, far too miserable considering the amount of alcohol we've had." he said decisively. "Let's put something on the telly, or some music."

"TV." she agreed. "Bound to be something cool on this late."

This seemed to do the trick because soon they were laughing obscenely at a cheesey film, Buffy criticizing the woman's outfit.

"See if I went out wearing that, there's no way I'd come home looking like that! My hair would be a mess, my make up ruined and as for the dress...it'd be toast!"

"Oh yes, that would really be tragic." he smirked.

"Giles, I know you don't care for fashion like I do but there's no need for an innocent dress to get ruined." she protested.

He laughed realising that she had no idea that he was instead thinking of a ruffled slayer with a rather torn dress. Of course she didn't see him that way, he knew that and he didn't want to. He knew it was wrong, he was too old for her, he was her watcher and she trusted him. Still...he had come to love her gradually; first fondness, then an almost parental love, then friend and then as she grew older it changed again.

He didn't notice it at first. It was a dream he had about her romantically that made him realise it the first time. Nothing erotic that first time, that came later, it had simply been the two of them sat on this very sofa. They had been laughing about something and when she smiled up at him, he had bent down and kissed her. They had been so close and happy. After that he had had to keep a close eye on how he looked at her. He didn't want to make her uncomfortable with his feelings. After a good few drinks though he wasn't sure he was capable of hiding anything at all but he was counting on Buffy being oblivious to him even being a man to get him through the night without incident, as well as the fact that she was also drinking.

"I saw Angel. At the graveyard." she said quietly. "He came here from LA but my dad didn't."

"I'm sorry Buffy." he said softly not knowing what else to say.

"He's gone again and...it almost feels like it didn't happen." she whispered leaning against him.

"You were hoping he would stay?" he asked.

"I don't know, not really I guess. It wasn't the same, I guess I wanted to pretend for a while." she replied, nuzzling into his shirt and closing her eyes. "Pretend that everything was back how it was when I first came here, before Angel went bad, before he left me, before the master killed me, before mum got sick...God Giles..." Her voice broke more and more with every word until she sobbed into his chest and clung to him as if she were drowning.

"Sshh...Buffy..." he soothed her holding her tightly to him. "I know it doesn't seem like it now but things will get better and you can do this Buffy."

"M-mum...she's..." he felt his heart clench at her grief. "I can't breathe...I...I can't..."

He tried to pull her back from him enough to look at her. He wanted to get her to concentrate on him so that he could slow her breathing.

"Buffy I'm not going anywhere, I just want you to look at me." he reassured her as she clung to him. She finally looked up and him and met his gaze. He planned to tell her to match his breathing; he planned to calm her down. He kissed her.

It wasn't until she was kissing him back as if his breath kept her alive that he realised his mistake. How could he have let that happen? What was he thinking? Was he thinking? Not with anything above his waist apparently. He pulled away from her quickly, catching her off guard and prying her off of him completely.

"Buffy, I'm so sorry." he told her. She gaped at him but no words came out.

"Did you want to kiss me?" she asked eventually.

"Yes." he admitted. "But you're fragile right now and we've both been drinking, I never meant for you to know Buffy please believe me that I never meant to put you in this position."

"So you wanted to kiss me?" she asked again.

"Yes but-"

"Then you don't get to say that you're sorry." she cut him off. "I love you Giles and for ages I felt like I was being stupid and crazy for thinking about you like I did and now you finally look at me that way you try to take it back?!"

"Buffy that's not what I meant." he tried to explained. "You're not in the state of mind to-"

"Don't you dare tell me I'm fragile." she spat out. "I am so out of here."

"Buffy wait." he spoke as she reached the door. "Don't walk out that door."

"Why?" she asked crossing her arms over her chest.

"Against my better judgement, I don't want you to leave." he replied. "If you walk out that door I suspect this will be something we never discuss again and therefore never fix. Above all else I care about you, in whatever capacity you will allow me to and if you walk out that door it will ruin our relationship probably forever."

Her posture slumped and she backed away from the door.

"I don't have anywhere else to go anyway." she admitted. Dawn was with Anya and Xander, her house was empty and no longer felt like home. Giles' flat did feel like home, that was why she had come here.

"Stay here, with me." he told her approaching her cautiously.

"Are you asking what I think you're asking?" she huffed.

"I have no intentions on taking advantage of you tonight, I simply do not want you out of my sight until this is resolved." he said.

"You had no intentions of kissing me either." she pointed out.

"You're right." he agreed clearing his throat, she was exactly right; he had had no intentions of kissing her and that happened, he didn't intend to shag her senseless but the thought was there none the less. "I have a rather nasty habit of not knowing when to stop drinking."

"Why did you kiss me?" she asked.

"Because in that one moment all I wanted was to take your pain away and in a foolish hope I thought perhaps I could." he replied with a sad smile. "Buffy you have just lost your mother; no one can simply take the pain away. No one."

"Do you...think of me that way?" she asked uncertainly.

"Does that really surprise you that much?" he countered.

"Well...yeah." she replied. "You're you know, older and smarter and..."

"Yes, yes I know very old and gross. Not to mention stuffy and British and boring." he muttered turning away from her to pour himself another drink.

"That is so not what I meant." she told him, grabbing his arm as he downed his glass.

"Giles if you hadn't been all shacked up with some other woman I would never have said those things. It was serious babbling of the Willow variety. Giles you hurt me, not only weren't you going to help but you didn't want to listen because she was there." she shouted.

"Other woman?" he asked suddenly bursting out laughing.

"OK, not seeing the hilarity here." she commented narrowing her eyes at him. He didn't explain for a good while, clutching his sides in laughter instead.

"Do you have any idea why Olivia even left?" he asked still chuckling to himself.

"She wasn't cool with the whackiness of the hellmouth?"

"Wrong, she told me that she could have gotten used to what my life entails...although granted she did encourage me to up and leave the country." he smirked. "She decided that she couldn't deal with being second in my life, feeling like she was the other woman compared to my slayer."

"Wait...what?" she blinked. He burst out laughing again and she stared at him as if he had grown a second head. "What is so funny?"

"Funny?" he asked. "Why isn't it funny? You just called my girlfriend the other woman; she left because she considered you to be the other woman when really that just leave's me shagging neither of you. How's that for irony?"

"I...I'm not sure whether you being drunk is a good thing or a bad thing right now." she muttered.

"What's the matter Buffy? Was that a bit honest and crude for you?" he asked stepping closer to her. "Does the fact that your middle aged watcher wants you disgust you Buffy?" She gasped as his face came inches from hers. Her stomach flipped as she stared into his eyes, his desire was so obvious in them now it shocked her. "It doesn't..." he concluded in surprise, seeing her eyes darkening.

"Weren't you listening to me earlier? Oh wait I forgot I couldn't have meant it because I'm so emotional, fragile and drunk." she gritted out. "Well you're the one who's drunk. I've dreamt of kissing you, imagined you wanting me...but not like this. You'd never say any of this if you weren't drunk, so I'll stay for the sake of fixing us but right now...I _don't_ want you. I want my Giles and I want to know that when he says he wants me back, he isn't just drunk and angry."

"Buffy..."

"Go to bed Giles. I'll sleep down here and we'll talk in the morning." she told him. He stared at her for a long moment before realising that she was right. He was drunk. He was mortified at the things he had said to her. He wanted to kiss her again in, case he never got another chance or try to apologise but fearing he might end up doing or saying something worse, he nodded and headed silently upstairs.


	2. Chapter 2

Honest and Crude

Part Two

When the clock past half ten and began to approach eleven Buffy had had enough. She was tempted to just leave but she knew that he was right, if they didn't fix this now, they would pretend it never happened and never fix it. It would become just one more rift between them. Snoring could still be heard from above, that had made her chuckle. Giles was always so reserved that him snoring like a bear was extremely funny to her.

As it reached quarter to eleven she summoned all her courage and headed upstairs. She paused at the entry to his bedroom, entranced by the mostly undressed man in front of her. Glancing anywhere but his broad naked chest she looked down only to find his t-shirt from last night flung at her feet, scanning the room she saw his sweat pants in a ball at the foot of the bed as if he had wriggled and kicked them off in his sleep. She was grateful that the covers hid him from just above his belly button, she didn't know how she would react if she had appeared to find him completely naked, as the foot sticking out the bottom of the covers with his boxers hanging off it would suggest that he was.

Taking a deep breath she moved forward and placed the tray she had brought with her as a peace offering on the bedside table.

"Giles?" she called, nudging his shoulder. "Come on Giles wake up."

The snoring stopped but the only response that she got was him yanking the covers up and burying himself further into the bed.

"Wake up you stubborn sleepy head you!" she insisted shaking him.

"Sod off." came a muffled response.

"If that's what you want then fine but you asked me to stay." she huffed.

"Buffy?" he enquired, his voice still rough from sleep. He moved his head a bit to look at her but instead screwed up his eyes at the light. "God why is it so bloody light?"

"Something to do with it being eleven o'clock." she replied evenly.

"How long have you been up?" he asked, finally opening his eyes to look at her.

"A couple of hours." she replied. "I brought peace offerings". She gestured to the tray holding two mugs, two glasses and some aspirin. "I didn't know what would help so I brought everything."

He sat up slowly and rubbed his face. She smiled at his ruffled hair before her eyes strayed briefly to the ones on his chest and stomach again. He shifted the covers up a bit awkwardly.

"Sorry, I seem to be a bit uh..."

"Naked?" she grinned. "I noticed, not that I saw anything but you know...the clothes on the floor..."

"When the world stops spinning I will rectify that problem." he apologised.

"Tea? Coffee? Aspirin?" she offered.

"Coffee please." he said gratefully. "Thank you."

She hovered by the bed for a moment uncertainly before he tilted his head towards the bed. She looked uncertain.

"I don't mind, you shouldn't stand there making the room look a mess." he told her. "Or if you're uncomfortable give me a moment and I'll be downstairs."

She moved to sit on the bed next to him. She was nervous but decided that being this close to him wasn't something she could pass up. She shuffled around until she sat next to him with her back against the headboard.

"You're horrifyingly awake this morning." he commented.

"Slayer healing and metabolism." she grinned. "Has its perks."

"How fortunate for you." he muttered taking another sip of his coffee.

"Sooo...we're good?" she asked after a few moments of silence. He closed his eyes for a moment and remembered some of the things he had said to her.

"I'm sorry Buffy, I should never have been so crude. I assure you that I am sufficiently appalled with myself." he told her. "My slayer having to order me to bed because I can't handle my drink...I shall never live that down."

She let out a sigh. He was sorry. He didn't truly want her, he was appalled...just as she suspected that he would be.

"Hey it's no big." she shrugged with as much cheer as she could force up.

"You do know you can't fool me for a second don't you?" he asked looking sideways at her. "That wouldn't have fooled even Anya."

"No, it's all good. Really." she assured him.

"Buffy, if we're going to have that talk you need to be honest with me." he sighed.

"That talk?" she squeaked out.

"If you don't want to discuss it then all you need do is say that it isn't what you want." he told her honestly.

"What isn't what I want?" she asked not entirely following where he was going. Did he mean he wanted to talk about them? As in...them a couple them?

"You mentioned that that kind of relationship between us had crossed your mind before, is that true?" he asked.

"Well...yes but that doesn't mean you have to do anything about it. I never expected that either of us would ever..." she spoke so quietly, he knew that it was dangerous ground for both of them.

"Buffy...the relationship we have is very important to me, changing it is a big risk to that...if something should go wrong it could ruin our friendship permanently. It's an extremely big risk but I fear that after last night, if what both of us said was true then it may be more damaging not to do anything." he said honestly. Buffy's gaze shifted from her own hands gradually across the covers and then his chest until she reached his face. It was there, the longing she had seen for the first time last night.

"I..." she froze up. She wasn't sure what to say. She was sure that knowing her as well as he did, he could see in her eyes what she saw in his. After all, she was sat on his bed with him, he was naked under those covers and she was still in yesterday's clothes. There was an intimacy in this morning that couldn't be taken back. She could tell him that she loved him, but he knew that. She had loved him for a long time, the love she felt had simply changed into a similar but different love. She could tell him that she wanted him but he could see that, he had seen it last night as drunk as he was, so he could certainly tell now. Instead they seemed to come to some silent agreement that things had changed between them and there was no changing back.

So when he passed her his empty mug to put on the bedside table she did so without a word and then turned back to him, shuffling across the bed until she leant against his side comfortably and he lifted his arm to allowed her that.

"You have a spare set on clothes in the cupboard next to the bathroom." he told her after a while gesturing to the clothes she still wore.

"I knew they were somewhere but they used to be in a bag by the coat stand so I didn't know where they'd gone." she said rolling her eyes. "If I'd have known that I'd have had a shower ages ago."

"You still can." he assured her. "Did you find anything to eat?"

"Nope, fridge was pretty bare." she told him. "That was one of my main reasons for waking you. As much as I don't feel like eating, being the slayer means my stomach overrules me."

"Well that won't do." he said decisively. "We'd better go have a rather large and unhealthy lunch then. After showering of course."

"And clothes might be a good idea." she nodded towards the covers.

"Well yes of course." he agreed before lifting his arm from her shoulders and shuffling around in the bed. He tugged his boxers on under the covers and looked over at his slayer. "Come on then, best get to it or we'll never get around to lunch before someone tracks us down."

With that they both headed downstairs. Buffy went to the cupboard to dig out some spare clothes and he went to grab an extra towel for her from the other cupboard.

She eagerly headed into the bathroom and made haste in stripping off yesterday's clothes and throwing them into the hamper.

After a bit of thought on his part Giles decided that instead of waiting, he would simply join her. She looked a bit surprised when he shifted the shower curtain and stepped into the shower behind her but said nothing to protest. He didn't miss the blush that stained her cheeks before she turned away from him to soap herself.

"I thought I'd save us some time." he told her, placing his hands on her hips and drawing her back to him and lowering his head to kiss her shoulder.

"You need a better shower." she said after a moment of silence. "This one is over a bathtub and it's not powerful at all. How can I wash my hair when the water is just dribbling on me?"

"The one in the wet room upstairs is better." he chuckled.

"Then why are we down here?" she frowned.

"Because you didn't ask." he replied. The couple washed themselves and got dressed with little conversation. If this were a movie he'd have kissed her breathless under the water and they'd have made love against the wall or on the bathroom floor. In reality, the bathroom wall would've been slippery and the bathroom floor was too small to comfortably do anything on. Besides which they weren't in a hurry. He kissed her before they left his house, not locking the door behind him despite her protests.

He took her hand and they walked to a diner two blocks over, she revelled in the warmth that his touch brought her. So simple but it meant everything to her.

Giles was equally delighted with the new development, thanking every higher power he could think of for the gift he'd been given.

"Buffy that burger is positively enormous." he commented when their food arrived. "You can't possibly fit all that in."

"Watch me, Watcher." she grinned before tucking in. He followed her lead and took a bite of his own lunch. He'd ordered a big breakfast plate as it was as close to a good old fry up as he would get.

Sure enough Buffy polished off every bite of her food before the two left the diner.

"What happens now?" she asked as they headed back to his hand in hand.

"That very much depends on what you want to happen now." he replied evenly. "And Dawn of course."

"I...I'm not sure exactly. I mean this isn't something I want to keep from anyone so I'll obviously tell her but...I want you to be there with us all the time and I'm not sure that she's ready for that kind of change right now." she sighed.

"Buffy, we can spend plenty of time together without making any permanent arrangements right now. Perhaps get your sister's opinion? Let her feel like she is being involved." he suggested. "What time is Dawn coming home?"

"Not really sure, Xander just said he'd take her for the night and she seems to be better with him than me." she replied following him inside. "I...I can't replace mom for her. I'm not her favourite person right now, she practically hates me and I don't know why..."

"Have you tried asking her?" he suggested.

"You mean like a grown up? Now why would I think to do that?" she asked sarcastically. They stepped back inside his front door and she sighed deeply. "How am I going to do this Giles?"

"One day at a time." he said gently, before sliding his arms around her and kissing her thoroughly. His mouth possessed hers, thrusting his tongue into her mouth as he held her tighter. His mouth's actions providing her with a delicious image of what his body could do to hers.

"Make it better" she panted as he pulled back. "You said you can't make it go away but you can make me forget for a minute."

"I rather hope more than a minute." he murmured, his tongue trailing down her throat to her collar bone. He groaned as her body pressed against him involuntarily.

Buffy felt slightly guilty that barely more than a week after her mother's death she was finding such pleasure. Only twenty four hours after burying her Mother she was letting someone undress her. But she had wanted him for so long, thought of him this way for nearly two years. She knew that her mother wouldn't want her to be miserable. Her mother would want happiness for her, even if it was Giles that made her happy.

Her mother had never truly seen eye to eye with him but she had known that Giles always put her first and protected her life above all others. She wouldn't be thrilled to learn of this twist in their relationship but she would at least understand. With that thought the worst of her guilt left her and allowed her to focus on the strong hands sliding across her hips and stomach and lifting her top.

"Hey Giles have you seen-Buffy! Giles...and Buffy, Buffy and Giles...oh God my eyes!" Xander's voice burst out as the door swung open.

"Xander you're blocking the door!" Anya's voice followed.

"What happened to your eyes?" Dawn asked.


End file.
